I actually clicked on today's piece by Lisa Belkin expecting thoughts on bullying, which continues to be one of the hottest topics in education, but was met with her thoughtfully cautious yet ultimately hopeless take on the tragedy in Aurora, Colorado. Lisa quotes Susan Klebold, the mother of Dylan, one of the Columbine shooters:
Those of us who cared for Dylan felt responsible for his death. We thought, "If I had been a better (mother, father, brother, friend, aunt, uncle, cousin), I would have known this was coming." We perceived his actions to be our failure. I tried to identify a pivotal event in his upbringing that could account for his anger. Had I been too strict? Not strict enough? Had I pushed too hard, or not hard enough? In the days before he died, I had hugged him and told him how much I loved him. I held his scratchy face between my palms and told him that he was a wonderful person and that I was proud of him.
O the pain she must have felt! To wonder as a parent and to hurt over the decisions and struggles of our children. While returning from our trip down to Texas, Lesley and I talked a bit about our experiences with Levi. The temptation for parents is to want to take credit. Credit in the right ways, credit in the wrong ways. For our friends and family with children with medical conditions or academic "gifts", credit it taken. But I think we do ourselves a great disservice by putting too much on our shoulders. Ultimately we entrust our children to God, who is responsible for us all. As parents I believe that we are responsible to do our best for our children, reading studies and books on plastics, books in the home, TV watching, vaccines, spanking etc (etc, etc!) and then making our humble decisions and walking as gracious parents. I compare this to the young man with the fishes and loaves: he brought the Lord the meagre substance he had and trusted Jesus to do what he would do with what was provided.
